Magnolia Cafe

January 4th, 2001

The Secret of Magnolia Cafe's Carrot Cake:

"We don't make it. It's from Upper Crust Bakery." - Lil Kim

Well well well. If it isn't the Magnolia Cafe. This restaurant looks like it's been here since before Austin was Austin, and so do some of the older clientele. I just like saying clientele. It's a fun word. But seriously, there are some aging Austin Hippies hanging out in this joint. Of course, they're sitting next to Bluto and the Hooter's waitress that he picked up earlier in the evening, but we'll overlook that for now.

Magnolia's is a slice of Austin. It's a greasy spoon, family restaurant, Mexican taco joint, and coffee house all rolled into one giant spicy enchilada. Before you even get in the door, you are confronted by its unique charm. The walls feature the work of local artists, and you can see why they're still local. There are some screwed up paintings on the walls. One featured a rabbit in front of a Japanese flag shooting dice and drinking a martini. We will call it "Psychedelic Vegas Hare." One painting in particular, which may have been a self-portrait of the artist, really freaked me out. Yowza.

The menu lists merely "cakes," but don't be disheartened, gentle reader. If you ask, they will eventually admit to serving carrot cake. Not that they actually make carrot cake. But they do serve it. And it looks like it came right out of the fridge. The presentation was a bit disappointing; semi-creamy icing and a aerosol whipped cream floret on top. The cake gave off no discernible aroma. The flavor was better than the appearance, traditional but not outstanding. It was flavorful but not flavor flave. The visible carrot chunks earned points, but the lack of nuts and distinctive spicing made it lame. Enough frosting to give Frosty the Snowman a wedgie.

Despite its two and a half carrot rating, we would still recommend Magnolia's for its ambiance and late night munchy satisfaction factor. The kiddies will get a kick out of the brightly strange tables, each covered in a different pattern. Look out for the pigs!

Bluto gives it two thumbs up. Popeye was unavailable for comment.

Tips:

• Go to Upper Crust Bakery and get it fresh.
• Try not to look directly at the artwork on the walls.
• Roll up for the Mystery Tour. (That's an invitation.)